The Tinder Swindler!
Last night, I watched the new Netflix documentary ‘The Tinder Swindler’ with a mixture of fascination and sadness. Fascination because it’s a first-class production about romance fraud at its very worst and most terrifying, and it’s a sobering lesson to us all. It is a must watch. Sadness, because it brought back memories of my own encounter, many years ago now, with a confident sound engineer who trashed my health and confidence and came close to breaking me, emotionally and financially.
The most upsetting part of my ordeal last night was each victim’s description of the moment when the awful truth dawned on them – the realisation that the whole relationship had been a pack of lies, that they’d lost everything, and that their trust had been so totally and cruelly betrayed. I recall that moment as if it were yesterday. It’s not easy to bear my soul like this, but if it helps just one other person from avoiding having to experience what I did, then it’s worth it …
I’m over it now, of course. We all get over things with time and as life flows on like a river at its own pace. I managed to get my physical health on track very quickly and my emotional world fell back into place as I focused on my dreams and my career (I got my feet on the first rung of the career ladder by gaining my first managerial role and I climbed the ladder swiftly after that).
At first, I blamed myself for being stupid, naïve, reckless, irrational and a dozen other things. I felt that I wasn’t doing well when it came to the romantic side of my life. But in truth, I was just being human – trusting, kind, loyal – values we all cherish and seek in ourselves and others.
Perhaps worst of all, though, is that sometimes I don’t think it is necessarily about the money, or about what the swindler gets from you, physically or emotionally. I think he just enjoyed the game and the power it gave him over others. He was the cat to my mouse, playing with me. And the fact that he could do this, without any obstacles, is what left me feeling so “abused”.
My advice: Proceed with caution. Be aware of the phrase, “it is too good to be true”. Do your research and ask some direct questions if needs be and watch out for the facial expressions or the written responses.
Lastly, date with cautiousness but not with walls!!!
Take care out there, everyone. It can be a cruel world at times and sharks could be everywhere.
Lots of love,
Electra-:)
